Rufus had been in a foul mood since his disagreement with Lizette. Ellowyne tried to cajole him out of his funk but with little luck. Rufus was the guy who got along with everybody, and it was unusual for him to argue with anyone. Well, everyone but Amber. The two of them fought over everything, from music to politics, and relished their debates as if they were sport. But this was different. He was afraid that he ruined his friendship with Lizette. 

A few days later, Lizette got in touch with Rufus and Ellowyne. Finally, one afternoon she invited them to FaceTime with her. “Lizette, I’m sorry,” Rufus blurted out. “I shouldn’t have been so opinionated about Dr. Bantam.”

“No, no. You were right to be,” Lizette assured him. “I never really thought about my progress—or lack thereof. It turns out she wasn’t helping me, and I’m glad you were adamant and honest about Dr. Bantam.”

Ellowyne sighed with relief. “I’m glad that’s over,” she admitted. “I love this man but he has a cranky side.”

Rufus smiled broadly. “Me? Cranky?” 

“Yes, you,” Ellowyne retorted. “You’ve been insufferable.”

“Then I owe you an apology, too.”

Ellowyne scrunched her nose, made a face, and threw a sofa pillow at him.

After they chatted with Lizette for a while, Ellowyne and Rufus decided to venture out of the house. Restrictions had been relaxed a little and, as long as they wore masks, they were able to go into some stores together and go inside restaurants to order food for carry-out or to eat at tables that were about six feet apart. They wandered through the aisles of an upscale discount store, not looking for anything in particular. Ellowyne picked up some sewing supplies, and Rufus looked at LEGO sets, settling on a new Star Wars offering. Later, they went to Ellowyne’s favorite make-up store, where Rufus retreated to what he called “The Bored Husband and Boyfriends Section” and played with his phone while she shopped.

Then they decided to get something to eat. Ellowyne suggested a place with tasty salads and delicious chocolate cake. Rufus was amused by her wanting a healthy salad and a big slice of decadent, calorie-laden cake. He was planning to pair his cake with a burger and maybe a shake. As they stood in line to place their order, a man burst in the doors, ignored social distancing, and muscled his way to the counter. He pushed Rufus out of the way and demanded his order be taken immediately. The employees refused to give him service because he was belligerent and not wearing a mask.

Rufus spoke up. “Hey! Get back in line. And put on a mask!”

The man sneered at Rufus. “You’re one of them. You believe everything they say about this COVID crap. Don’t you know, snowflake, that it’s just a hoax, something the government is saying to take away our freedom and wreck our businesses?”

“COVID is real,” Rufus responded. 

Then the obnoxious man reached over to Rufus and tore off his face mask. “You’re just a pansy, a big old wuss,” he taunted. “You’re scared by the stuff the boogiemen say. Go cry to your mommy how you’re so afraid of COVID.”

“You son of a bitch,” Rufus shouted. “My parents died of COVID.” He grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt. “If it was a G-d damned hoax, my parents would still be alive.” He punched the man in the face. “My best friend is up to his armpits taking care of COVID patients, some of them ignorant buttheads like you who don’t ‘believe’ in COVID.” 

The man staggered backwards, rubbing his cheek. Yet, he approached Rufus again, smirking and mumbled slurs about him and, worse, his deceased parents. Rufus hit him again. And again. Finally, he socked the man in the jaw, which sent him reeling to the floor.

Before Rufus could strike the man again, three police officers came into the restaurant to break up the fight. They put paper masks on both men. One officer restrained Rufus and the other restrained the man, who still clutched Rufus’ mask in his fist. The other officer took statements from the staff and customers.

“That man,” one of the servers said, “came in here without a mask, without social distancing, and marched up to the counter, demanding we wait on him immediately.”

A customer in the queue added, “He was asked to put on a mask, to observe social distancing, and to wait in line like the rest of us.”

The restaurant manager pointed at Rufus and said, “When that young man told him to put on a mask and get in line, the other guy tore his off of him!”

“I took a video on my phone,” another customer added.

“That obnoxious creep kept taunting the young man, making fun of his parents, who died from COVID,” a third customer said.

The officers looked at the video. Then they glanced at Rufus, whose flushed face was beaded with sweat, and at the other man, who had blood running from his nose and lip.” One officer took Rufus’ mask from the man and said, “This is clearly self-defense. We don’t condone fist fights but you were definitely provoked. And this guy…”

The man was shocked when an officer cuffed him and started to read his Miranda rights. “What the hell?” he asked incredulously. “This hipster snowflake beats me but you’re arresting me and not him?”

“Actually, you assaulted him when you forcibly removed his mask,” another officer said. “He could press charges against you.”

Rufus shook his head. The officer informed the man he was under arrest for causing a public disturbance and violating COVID restrictions.

“But you can’t press charges against him,” the third officer added. “His actions were justified.”

As the police removed the offending man from the restaurant, the customers and staff cheered. Rufus leaned against the wall. The manager told him that his and Ellowyne’s food was on the house, and he gave Rufus a $100 gift card to use later. He even gave Rufus and Ellowyne an entire cake! They ordered their food to go. Ellowyne took care of the food while Rufus went to the restroom to wash his sweat and the man’s blood off his fists. 

They left the restaurant and Rufus asked Ellowyne to drive home. “Sweetheart,” she murmured. “You’re not at fault. I don’t blame you. I think anyone would have responded the same way.” 

Rufus’ hands were shaking. “But I’m not anyone,” he muttered. “I don’t fight. I don’t settle arguments with my fists. I don’t even like to argue.” He smiled weakly. “Except with Amber.” He inhaled and exhaled sharply. “He shouldn’t have made fun of my parents. Ellowyne, I miss them so much. They shouldn’t have died that way. They shouldn’t have died at all.”

Ellowyne pulled into a parking space. She turned to Rufus and held him tightly while he sobbed. “I love you,” she whispered. Then she brushed away the tears on his cheeks. 

“You still love me after what I did? I mean, I really hurt that guy.” 

Ellowyne reassured him. “Of course. I’m glad you stood up against that bully. Remember how you did that when we were in high school?”

Rufus remembered how he got in two fights when he was in school. One was when he was a freshman and he defended himself after a senior tormented him nearly every day. The other was when a kid in the locker room after gym class said terrible things about Ellowyne. Rufus, who was never in trouble, spent a few hours in detention. Still, he felt the detention was worthwhile because no one dared spread rumors about Ellowyne after that. He wasn’t sure if Ellowyne knew about it.

“Let’s try to forget about this,” Rufus suggested. “Let’s just go home and have some lunch.”

A couple of hours—and a couple of slices of cake—later, Rufus got a text from Pru. The message was terse: “Is this you?” and it linked to a video on YouTube. To his horror, the person who was taking a video of the confrontation uploaded it for everyone to see. 

Ellowyne opened the video on her laptop so they could see it better. It was entitled: “Hipster Takes on COVIDIOT”. To her and Rufus’ relief, he wasn’t named in the video. To their surprise, there had been over a thousand views in just the few minutes that the video was online. Of course, there were comments, nearly all of them supportive of Rufus.

Prudence texted again. “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you with the beard and man bun. You really have gone full hipster!” 

Then Lizette texted. “Have you seen YouTube? You’re a beast, Rufus! But seriously, you were justified.”

Then the emails and Facebook messages came in. Some of Rufus’ engineering school classmates kidded him about becoming their personal protector. One of the teaching assistants sent him a video with the theme from “Rocky”, and another suggested the school start its own intramural boxing team. Even Rufus’ advisor teased him about being the new Jake LaMotta, the character portrayed in the film Raging Bull. He even sent Rufus a link to download the movie.

A few hours later, Rufus received a text message from Penn. “Hey, dude! Didn’t know how brutal you can be. You should join Fight Club. Duh. I forgot the first rule of Fight Club: Never talk about Fight Club. LOL!!!” A few minutes later, Penn texted Rufus again. “Hey, Amber is going through a lot right now. Don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from her. Gotta get back on the floor. Thanks for the shout-out. It’s balls to the wall again tonight. Hope that douche doesn’t end up in my ER. I’ll shortsheet his gurney.”

Ellowyne looked at the video on YouTube. “Rufus! It’s going viral! It’s got half a million views already! Wait, wait. It’s on TikTok, too!”

Rufus bellowed. “Noooooooooooooo! I’m never going to live this down.”

Ellowyne giggled. “Just wait until you become a meme, Rocky!”